Navigating the Christian Counseling Path to Healing Without Exhaustion Imagine coming to someone with your burdens who is truly never tired of listening to you, never weary from the weight of your suffering, able to endure every tedious detail and keep every tear. This is Christ our Savior—the one who invites us to "come unto … Continue reading Christian Counseling: A Journey, Not a Sprint
Death of a Spouse, Part V: Rising Hope in a Risen Savior
Preface: "For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us." - Romans 8:18 Four years later, I am still rummaging through Heidi’s personal effects. Trinkets, cards and notes she wrote and received, gifts and other items that hold no substantive … Continue reading Death of a Spouse, Part V: Rising Hope in a Risen Savior
What to Expect in Your First Counseling Session
Welcome If you've never undergone a formal counseling journey, that very first counseling session might prompt some mild anxiety, uncertainty and even doubt. Those thoughts and feelings are not out of the ordinary, however. In my view, it takes courage to seek help, especially if you're new to asking for help from a complete stranger. … Continue reading What to Expect in Your First Counseling Session
Death of a Spouse, Part 4
Preface: This segment is dedicated to the friends of widows and widowers. If you are the friend of someone who recently lost their spouse, the aim of this article is to assist you in supporting your friend who is now a widow or widower. Beginning with the Word of God 13 But I do not … Continue reading Death of a Spouse, Part 4
The Sufficiency of God’s Grace in our Everyday Weakness
* * * * 8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. 9 But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of … Continue reading The Sufficiency of God’s Grace in our Everyday Weakness
Walk By Faith in 2024
By the grace of God, we pressed through 2023 and entered a new year today. Yet, I wonder how last year went for you. Are you looking back in discouragement and disappointment? How much were you beset by troubles and hardships? Are you looking ahead with fear or worry? Because each day has enough trouble on it's own, I … Continue reading Walk By Faith in 2024
Death of a Spouse, Part III
Afterward Abraham buried his wife Sarah in the cave in the field of Machpelah near Mamre (which is at Hebron) in the land of Canaan.[Genesis 23:19 NIV] Introduction Today marks the 3rd Wedding Anniversary that will pass since Heidi's death and what would have been our 10th wedding anniversary. I write these special notes in memory of … Continue reading Death of a Spouse, Part III
I am in pain and distress
As hard as it is for us to accept, we must arrive, by the Spirit's help, to the belief and conviction that relief from pain and distress is not the most important thing we need. Relief is good but God's salvation is better.
Remember Your Everlasting Mercy and Love
“Remember your mercy, O LORD, and your steadfast love,for they have been from of old.”Psalm 25:6 ESV I remember the very first time I began to refer to Heidi in the past tense. It was literally minutes after the surgeon broke the news of her passing away. I also remember how shortly after her death … Continue reading Remember Your Everlasting Mercy and Love
Give Careful Thought
25 Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you. 26 Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways. 27 Do not turn to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil. Proverbs 4:25-27 (NIV) LOOKING In our western, 21st century culture … Continue reading Give Careful Thought
He Said, She Said
He-Said-She-Said-1Download
Learning to Forgive
Because Christ is risen from the dead, therefore can forgive.
Top 10 Most Read Blogs, Articles & Hymn Reviews
2022 In Review - By the grace of God, the CCFS viewership has continued to grow over the last 2 years. Consider passing along these blogs, articles and hymn reviews that others may benefit from them. Below is a list of the top 10 Most read blogs, articles and hymn review throughout 2022. 1. True … Continue reading Top 10 Most Read Blogs, Articles & Hymn Reviews
The Sun Rises
Tomorrow is the end of 2022 and for many of us, this year was marked with many life changes. On the whole are you able to see God’s hand through it all?
How to Deal with Grief at Christmas
The course of grief invariably leads us through seasons, like Christmas and it invariably crosses thresholds of painful memories. But the realization that grief is like a watercourse directed by God which we need not fully grasp or understand will help us move toward accepting the grief when it comes.
I Lift Up My Soul
Indeed, O Lord, you do hear. You do not let shame completely consume me, for when I consider the cross of your Son, I remember you considered me all along.
Two are better than one
The ebb and flow of loving your spouse becomes tailored made and then reinforced more and more beautifully as time draws on.
How to remember those we love when we grieve
The memory of the righteous is a blessing, but the name of the wicked will rot.Proverbs 10:7 (ESV) Some memories of those in our past are best left not to be remembered. In fact, according to this proverb, it is expected. The name of the wicked will rot. This is not proverbial. This is literal but … Continue reading How to remember those we love when we grieve
This is Not My Home
I need an acquaintance and familiarity with the gospel that quenches the deepest thirst in my soul so as to give up looking for satisfaction on and in things on this side of heaven. I need Christ's comfort. I need stability and direction. I need to remember, albeit however painful, that this is not my home; rather, that Heaven awaits - my true home that will indeed last forever.
Where is God? (Pt 2)
God has the prerogative of silence, but we must also always realize, he has already spoken. He will not speaking anything new. Rather, he will, by his Spirit, use his Word to cause you to hear what is he saying to you in your pain.
Life After Resurrection (Pt 2)
We are one month out from Resurrection Sunday - does your heart still sense the Resurrection Life in Christ? A few weeks ago, I mentioned that death has no power over you or I. But, what are we to do when the power of the cross and the resurrection of Christ feels as if it has … Continue reading Life After Resurrection (Pt 2)
Life After Resurrection (Pt 1)
Death has no power over you or I. This is true because Christ rose from the dead. Yet, this truth can lose its punch only days after we celebrate the Lord’s rising from the dead. Why? At least one reason includes our static weakness of flesh. We are easily overcome by the problems of this world and the burdens of the day. So I know it’s only been a few days since our mutual celebration of Christ putting death to death, but let me ask you, how is your spirit?
Consider the Wildflowers
The further we consider the wildflowers, the more the doors open up in our heart to seeing the gospel. Jesus wants you to consider wildflowers because he wants you to be captivated by his love and provision for you.
A Comfort Received
Introduction: March 28th is the first anniversary of my late wife going to glory. Her name was Heidi. And that is how best to put it that she is in glory. She is not dead but with the Lord. Though we wait for the resurrection of the body (1 Cor 15:42), we know in the … Continue reading A Comfort Received
Transformed by the Power of the Gospel
Transformation by the power of the gospel is a transformation wrought by the work of Spirit of Christ in us as we come to him according to his invitation. Transformation by the power of the gospel bears certain kinds of fruit that enable us to know whether transformation is occurring; whether Christ is supplying our needs according to his promise.
Where is God?
Close yours eyes. Contemplate the essence of your pain. Consider your loss, your suffering, your hardship, your ailment, your difficulty, your struggle, the thing in your life you desperately wish were different…then, as you go to that deep, dark place of silent aloneness, ask the question: God, where are you?
In the Wake of Grief
God is not above bringing suffering in our lives in order to further unite the body of Christ. If you are suffering, if you are grieving, if you are lost and alone, may I encourage you to consider taking hope that comfort is available in Christ's body; that is, the church of God. Bring yourself closer to Christ's body, and so when you suffer, you can see and experience and learn that suffering is a community activity that brings you closer to Christ himself.
The Death of a Spouse
I wanted to write a piece because I think it’s time to begin sharing this journey. Though I want to write about the death of a spouse as I continue to grieve, I know others reading this will or are facing their own grief, so I am writing as a way to preach the gospel to myself (and to others).
3 months
Today marks three months since Heidi's passing. I wanted to share brief note to give you a sense of where is my heart today. My heart still grieves but it does not grieve as one without hope. And though it grieves, I know the Lord has been comforting me. Each day, there is some news … Continue reading 3 months
A Month Ago…
Today marks one month of Heidi’s death. It’s still sinking in. It’s been a long month. Painful. Disorienting and lonely.
Is It okay to Argue?
This is the sort of fighting I think has no place in marriage. As James helps us see, this kind of fighting is rooted in sin manifesting as us wrestling with our own personal sin (within us) that is on display in a quarrel or conflict in our relationships (outside us). This sort of fighting is distinct from disagreements, debates or perhaps even strong differences of opinion that may appropriately take place within marriage.
4 Solutions to Marriage Conflict
Marriage is hard work but it's good. It's good for many reasons but not the least of which is the fact that marriage is God's gift to us to teach us about the beautiful mystery of Christ and his church (Eph 5:32). It's very easy to forget this truth primarily because of the reality of the presence of sin. I know of no marriage that doesn't have conflict on some level, in some way, in various times and in various ways. But how we engage in the conflict is a reflection of the degree to which the gospel is taking root in our souls, affecting our hearts and minds to persevere in love no matter what happens.
The Heart and Soul of Christian Fellowship
THE QUESTIONS WE ASK EACH OTHER I remember the question clear as day. I remember the location, where I sat, his position to me, the gist of my response, and even what we had for breakfast. I was a Christian for about 3-4 years. My pastor and I met for breakfast to catch up. I … Continue reading The Heart and Soul of Christian Fellowship
The Aim of Wisdom
In the closing verses of Proverbs 2:20-22 Solomon kindly explains the ultimate aim of wisdom. After explaining how we get wisdom, where true wisdom comes from, 6 ingredients to fear and know God and two ways wisdom saves us, Solomon concludes with a stark picture of the high aim of wisdom itself: To differentiate life … Continue reading The Aim of Wisdom
Two Ways God’s Wisdom Saves You
The saving feature of wisdom encompasses the totality of our lives. We are confronted from all sides with temptation to sin. This temptation isn't exclusive to men for woman face the same temptation to sin as men. I think Solomon's aim, however, in framing how wisdom will save is to highlight the totality of our lives. That is, all around us we face temptations to sin and in all circumstances we need God's wisdom to avoid sin. This helps punctuate the idea that who we are exposed to and influenced by determines the degree of exposure to temptation to sin.
A Man of Perseverance
INTRODUCTION I want to share a few things about what it means to be a man who perseveres. When I think of perseverance, I think of persevering in the faith. This really is the most important facet of your life where perseverance is necessary. You fail in the faith and the rest of your life … Continue reading A Man of Perseverance
Our Sex Life Is Troubled By Past Abuse
The lingering effects of sexual trauma impacts marriage in a way that we hardly ever anticipate. Whether you are a victim of sexual assault, a spouse of someone whose been victimized, this little 64-page mini-book will help begin (or build on) a foundation of seeing the pervasive hope of the gospel of Jesus Christ no matter what has happened to us, even past sexual abuse.
True wisdom comes from God
Proverbs 2:1-5 provide 6 ingredients on how to fear and know God, so it makes sense that Solomon would point us to the actual source of this wisdom...from the mouth of Lord himself. In light of this, there are several promises Solomon outlines in verses 7-11 the nature and course of God's wisdom.
6 Ingredients to Fear and Know God
The meaning of the phrase "fear of the Lord" (found in Proverbs 1:7) is unpacked for us Proverbs 2:1-5. In the blog, titled, I Need Wisdom, I provided John MacArthur's definition of what it means to fear the Lord. Pastor MacArthur provided an answer as it relates to a state of mind of an individual. … Continue reading 6 Ingredients to Fear and Know God
Do Not Refuse God’s Wisdom
Have you ever been in a position where you were absolutely convinced and totally certain that you were correct on a matter? You searched high and low, you studied, you did your research, you conducted your analysis, you gave heed to your observations and by all accounts there was corroborated evidence by fellow witnesses; yet, … Continue reading Do Not Refuse God’s Wisdom
When Peer Pressure Is A Problem
At every stage of my life and in every circle of friends I've had in life, there has always been some level of peer pressure. But I'd like to point out that peer pressure in and of itself isn't necessarily a bad thing. Peer pressure can be good. For instance, if a married man is … Continue reading When Peer Pressure Is A Problem
I Need Wisdom!
Fear is the beginning knowledge. Fear is the presupposition to gaining access to the things denoted in verses 1-6 (and the rest of the scriptures, for sure). So, if the fear of the Lord is the how, then I suspect you might be asking something like...how do I fear the Lord. What does it mean to actually fear God?
Words Matter
The one who rightly guards his mouth is intimately acquainted with the readiness of the sin in his heart and realizes, knowing in advance, that his words can be his undoing; that his words may harm others and pierce like a sword and could possibly even destroy his neighbor; that words have power to not only ruin the life of others, but even his own life...his own soul (as Henry puts it).
Wisdom, the greatest desire
What do you want most in your life? Freedom from burdens? To get married and have a family? Career opportunities? More money? More time? More choices? More authority and responsibilities? More status? More this and more that?
How to Avoid Over-Commitment
Have you ever committed to something only realize sometime afterwards that your commitment was a serious mistake? If so, then Proverbs 6:1-5 will be the advice you need, and serve as counsel to help guard you from foolish over-commitment in the future. My, son, if you have put up security for your neighbor, if you … Continue reading How to Avoid Over-Commitment
Counsel For Sexual Purity: Proverbs 5
At the end of your life, what sort of things will be said about your heart as it relates to the track record of receiving and following the counsel you needed in order to live a life that was honorable and pleasing to God with respect to your sexual purity?
Have you ever been a victim of racism?
Have you ever been a victim of racism or felt like you were treated differently because of your skin color?
Eight Things to Meditate on During COVID-19
Part 2 of 2 MEDITATE ON ALL THAT GOD HAS DONE Psalm 143:5 - I remember the days of old; I meditate on all that you have done; I ponder the works of your hands. Tweet What all has God done? Aside from creating heaven and earth and all that is in it; aside from … Continue reading Eight Things to Meditate on During COVID-19
The Boundless Word of God
This is why counseling exists. We experience lack in our lives; trouble and hardship and need help moving forward. The need for counseling proves the existence of our limitations. Yet, even counseling has limitations.
Rest for the Weary
The weary in heart, the burdened soul; the man and woman who've been beaten up with temptation and struggling with the sin to manage life on their own terms can find the needed rest in Jesus. Jesus knows our soul-need and is ready to provide rest for the weary.
Eight Things to Meditate on During COVID-19
Part 1 of 2 INTRODUCTION As time rolls on over the last two weeks, it's increasingly apparent that anxiety, fear, worry, and doubt about the future are sinking deeper and deeper into people's hearts. As a christian counselor, I find myself concerned for those who may already be prone to feeling anxious, even when there … Continue reading Eight Things to Meditate on During COVID-19
Suicide Will Not Help But The Gospel Will
I, like many others, sometimes wrestle with questions about why does God allow bad things to happen to people. No doubt that question applies here. Why would God permit the spread of COVID-19?
Does God Heal All Diseases?
Does God Heal All Diseases? The accommodations humanity is making for one another to ensure total safety and security is admirable. Yet, one thing rings true as we face this terrible disease known as 'COVID-19' - only a healing on the surface, of the body, scratches the surface of what humanity really needs - a healing of the soul.
Counseling for Children (Part 1)
Part 1 - Counseling for Children In this episode I provide three broad questions when considering how to determine if your child needs counseling.
In Your Struggle Against Sin
In my counseling work, I offer couples a new angle on understanding why they face the problems they face. I summarize everything into one word: sin. Sin is the reason why they struggle with whatever it is that brings them to the counseling office.
When I Go Home – G.M. Eldridge
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z98Zvr1CyXg When I Go Home | G.M. Eldridge REFLECTIONS A beautiful new hymn by G.M. Eldridge is built on the Revelation 21:4 "He will wipe away every tear from their eyes..." I have listened to this song about 50 times. I hum this melody when I go about my day and is a new favorite. … Continue reading When I Go Home – G.M. Eldridge
Control Issues – Part 2
Control Issues - Part 2 of 2 I propose that as the heart believes more and more the truth of The Gospel, and is convinced of its truthfulness, the more and more we will give up our 'control issues' so as to be controlled by that which is good, right and best, the love Christ.
Whate’re My God Ordains Is Right – Samuel Rodigast
Whate're My God Ordains: This song and the truths this song provides testimony to serve as anchors for us as we wrestle with deep issues that might lead us into the counseling office.
The Creaking on the Stairs
A must read for anyone wanting to peer into very the difficult questions we inevitably face concerning human suffering and The Gospel. The author's biographical account of both his story of suffering at the hand of her is paired with his account of the saving and merciful redemption of Him our Lord, Jesus.
Depressed Since My Youth
As you love your friend and bear the burden of their depression, you are replacing their friendship with darkness with a holy communion of the light of Christ.
Control Issues – Part 1
Control Issues - Part 1 of 2 We all have control issues. The problem really isn't so much identifying whether we have it (because we know we do); rather, the problem is to what degree, and to what degree are we aware of what drives or "empowers" our need for control.
Foster Care for Christians
Foster Care for Christian --3 Reasons Christian Should Consider Foster Care
Clear the Stage – Ross King
As killing sin cost Christ his life in pain, so killing the sin in your heart will cost you your life in pain.
CityAlight – Jesus, Strong and Kind
Reflections and Questions on the song by CityAlight: Jesus, Strong and Kind.
Empathy in Counseling
As a professional counselor, I sit across from struggling souls just about every day. People have all kinds of problems and the nuances to people's problems are many. It is not uncommon that some solutions per se are very readily apparent. But what is sometimes less obvious is that we need more than "solutions" - … Continue reading Empathy in Counseling
Next time you’re angry, ask yourself…
Three questions Here are three questions to ask yourself next time you're angry or you notice afterwards that a recent outburst was not God honoring or very loving to the person on the receiving end. These questions will hopefully strike a cord and they don't only apply to those who might be outwardly and obviously … Continue reading Next time you’re angry, ask yourself…
Let Nothing Move You
Like many others, I was taken aback hearing the tragic news of the NBA basketball legend, Kobe Bryant's sudden death, along with several others, including his 13 year old daughter this past Sunday. It was another sad moment when someone we love, respect and admire are suddenly gone. The pain is felt everywhere. I was … Continue reading Let Nothing Move You
Caring for One Another
A book review on: Caring for One Another by Ed Welch Caring for One Another is perfect for small group discussions or even 1:1 to 1:3 smaller meet-ups. I particularly like how each chapter is actually referred to as a lesson. I think this has to do with the idea that we are all (together) … Continue reading Caring for One Another
The Gospel Foundation – Part I
The Gospel is true and it connects to us directly As denoted in our previous visual aid, the Gospel stands as the foundation and bedrock of all counseling efforts seeking to operate from Christian or biblical worldview. Without the Gospel, there is no biblical counseling and there is no christian worldview. The implications are both … Continue reading The Gospel Foundation – Part I
A Theology of Counseling
introduction I like visual aids. I created this visual to help conceptualize and place into one frame how I think about counseling from a Christian worldview. As we move from stage or process to the next, this is often what is at work in my mind's eye. This helps me remember to keep the main … Continue reading A Theology of Counseling
Looking Ahead in 2020
Entering 2020 We are 18 days into the new year and the new decade. For me personally, it's been a long but fast 18 days. 18 days of intense work, engaging in activity both serious and light, but at the end of it, has already reminded me that no matter how deliberate I can be … Continue reading Looking Ahead in 2020
Restore us, O God – Psalm 80
In Psalm 80, throughout this testimony, Asaph appeals to the God of hosts, the Shepherd of Israel, the one who looks down from heaven, the one who lives as the object of our prayers in our time of need. When we read Psalm 80, we learn a few things about God and what he is … Continue reading Restore us, O God – Psalm 80
CityAlight – What Love My God
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CjXK9PdCpis CityAlight - What Love, My God Reflections This is a growing favorite over the last several months. I sing this song at least once whenever I am in my car traveling longer than 20 minutes. Are you often overwhelmed by various burdens of daily living - work pressures, family responsibilities, competing demands that vie … Continue reading CityAlight – What Love My God
CityAlight – I Want to Know You
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AY3EGQvyl5M CityAlight - I Want to Know You Reflections: What we do know and how do we know it. Questions: What is one thing you will do today to grow in your knowledge of Jesus. Credits: Words and music by Michael Farren, Jonny Robinson, Rich Thompson, James Proctor CCLI 7073331 © 2016 CityAlight Music
An Introduction to the Problems of Living
Introduction The purpose of this article is to start a conversation and provide an introduction about the problems of living. Specifically, however, I want to bring this conversation into the fold of a counseling conversation by having us consider how a professional counselor would think about problems of living from a christian worldview. The main … Continue reading An Introduction to the Problems of Living
An Introduction to Lasting Hope
Introduction The purpose of this article is to continue the conversation about problems of living. However, in this case, I wish to explain what hope looks like in the midst of people's deepest problem, both spiritual and physical. Whether we are aware of it or not, or whether we are willing and ready to accept … Continue reading An Introduction to Lasting Hope
What is Professional Clinical Counseling from a Christian Worldview
Introduction The purpose of this article is to start a conversation about what exactly I mean by the phrase, Professional Clinical Counseling From A Christian Worldview. I think there may be some misconceptions about what this means, especially as it concerns the christian worldview. First Things First Lets define terms. By professional I simply mean … Continue reading What is Professional Clinical Counseling from a Christian Worldview