This is the sort of fighting I think has no place in marriage. As James helps us see, this kind of fighting is rooted in sin manifesting as us wrestling with our own personal sin (within us) that is on display in a quarrel or conflict in our relationships (outside us). This sort of fighting is distinct from disagreements, debates or perhaps even strong differences of opinion that may appropriately take place within marriage.
Marriage is hard work but it's good. It's good for many reasons but not the least of which is the fact that marriage is God's gift to us to teach us about the beautiful mystery of Christ and his church (Eph 5:32). It's very easy to forget this truth primarily because of the reality of the presence of sin. I know of no marriage that doesn't have conflict on some level, in some way, in various times and in various ways. But how we engage in the conflict is a reflection of the degree to which the gospel is taking root in our souls, affecting our hearts and minds to persevere in love no matter what happens.
At the end of your life, what sort of things will be said about your heart as it relates to the track record of receiving and following the counsel you needed in order to live a life that was honorable and pleasing to God with respect to your sexual purity?
In my counseling work, I offer couples a new angle on understanding why they face the problems they face. I summarize everything into one word: sin. Sin is the reason why they struggle with whatever it is that brings them to the counseling office.