Part 2 of In the Wake of Grief
As I continue this series, another thing I am learning about suffering and grief is this, our integrity is on the line. Just as sin was crouching at the door of Cain (Cf. Gen. 4:7), so sin crouches at our door. And when grief quickens us to think more soberly about life and death, there are heightened temptations that can spread a myriad of directions but they usually fall within the very large spectrum of minimization or exaggeration.
So the second point for today’s article on grief is:
TWO: GRIEVE WITH INTEGRITY
We grieve with integrity by consciously choosing to not overstate the pain nor to do anything that cuts it off too early. Not all pain must be rid of so quickly, but not all pain is as bad as we can sometimes portray.
After Job’s second test, we notice a striking question from his wife:
His wife said to him, “Are you still holding on to your integrity? Curse God and die!” (Cf. Job 2:9)
THE TEMPTATION TO CURSE GOD
To curse God in our pain is the very manifestation of exaggerating our pain. A core belief in the prospective curse goes something like this: I have a right to not suffer. The deeper this belief is ingrained in our hearts and minds, the more visceral the curse of God will become.
Job’s wife was indeed foolish to consider such a thing. Job’s wife believed on some level that if her life isn’t going to be fully free from this kind of pain, then God must be cursed. Sure, God had shown his grace to Job and his family vis-a-vis being a very wealthy man; however, that was not enough for the wife.
The wife believed she deserved these things. The demand to curse God was another way of saying to God, I demand a better a life because I deserve it. Of course, the foolishness in this idea doesn’t even begin with the actual mechanics of the cursing God in the first place. That is, imagine Job went along with her; imagine he said, you’re right, lets curse God.
How exactly will that work? Can anyone actually curse God in a manner with any degree of significance or effect. Of course not.
A EUPHEMISM
The Hebrew word for curses is בָּרַךְ (bāraḵ) which means to bless. We see this word used 330 times and a couple examples include:
Gen 1:22 ESV
And God blessed them, saying, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the waters in the seas, and let birds multiply on the earth.
Gen 5:2 ESV
Male and female he created them, and he blessed them and named them Man when they were created.
However, when Job’s wife uses the word, she means something completely different. She uses the term as a term of mockery and scorn. She prods him to “worship” or “bless” but with the mocking tone so as to suggest, look what your worship got you? Go ahead keep “worshipping” God and die.
She mocked her husband’s worship by suggesting that all his previous worship, in the end, was as good as dead, hence, the translation curse God and die.
* The kernel of this provocation was the same thing Jesus chastised the pharisees when quoting Isaiah:
“These people honor me with the lips but their heart is far from me.”
Matthew 15:7 ESV
Grieving with integrity will look like a lot of things over the course of time, and even from Job’s standpoint, despite the foolish idea by his wife, he does not lash out or ridicule its foolery, but responds with a humble albeit painful confession in verse 10:
“Shall we receive good from God, and shall we not receive evil?”
In all the we do in the course of our grief, refusing to sin serves as the proverbial anchor to grieving with integrity. The refusal to sin demands a spiritual companionship along the way so that we remain open to loving exhortation when we begin to stray outside the edges of God-honoring grief.
It is easy to make much of our pain; yet, in our striving, may be make much more of Christ so that we believe in true fidelity: Because Jesus Christ rose from the dead, death is no longer the worst thing that can happen.
When the heart grasps a life beyond and above the sun, enduring a season of grief with integrity not only becomes possible, but inevitable because Christ, who lives in us by His Spirit, comforts us so that we can do what is truly best – to worship our Lord in our grief.
If you are grieving today, may the Lord fill your heart with fresh and poignant sense of his presence. In every real sense, you are not alone. The Lord is near.
Personal Note from the Author: I began this article on June 10, 2024. It sat in my draft folder for two years but today, I was inspired to complete this piece based on reports from someone I follow on social media who had come to suffer a terrible loss. I don’t know their pain, but I am acquainted with grief, so it seemed good to complete my thought that, if I don’t finish now, I might pass up a chance to minister to others with the comfort I’ve received from Christ. The original formulation at the two Genesis quotes, and today I picked up at the asterisk “*”.
